Children

I LOVE children.

I have a beautiful 14-year-old daughter named Shivonne. Raising her through her childhood years was the greatest pleasure I have ever known. She was a constant ray of sunshine in an often bleak life that I worked very hard to strengthen. Every day when I got home from work we would play and play. We had many games that I miss. Every night when she went to bed I both read and invented stories that thrilled her. We sang. We laughed. We did everything that father's and daughters are supposed to do.

Today she is a beautiful and well adjusted teenager. Straight-A student, singer, actor, pianist, and cultural acolyte. She has a strong testimony and it's one of those that isn't dependent on "thanktimony meetings" to be strong. She is the greatest joy of my life and spends alternate weekends with my attending cultural events and watching funny movies.

Would I like more children? You bet! And no, I don't care how I arrive at having those children. I'm equally fine with inheriting children through marriage as I am with adopting new ones or even starting a new family again. The goal is to have them, bless, teach and enjoy them. As I've never had the experience of living with teenagers and also have a lot of professional experience with youth relations and rehab I very much want to have a house full of 3-4 teens that are my own to "enjoy" and serve. No challenge scares me where youth are concerned.

Also, I tend to take the long view with children, especially youth. I understand their need to find themselves and discover - often the hard way - what life is all about. I strongly believe in what Joseph Smith taught about parenting: "Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." It is not the job of parents to control, direct, or force anything. It is our job to nurture, teach, guide, love and enable. I don't even have strong opinions about which rules are applied in a home as long as there ARE rules which ARE applied consistently by both parents. Oh, and there has to be lots of humor too.

Finally, I believe parents need to "let their hair down" and relate with their children consistently. I have no problem hanging out with acting like a 4 year old or a teenager if it helps them see how much I understand them and want to interact with them. I'm extremely casual most of the time, preferring to take a rebellious teen out for ice cream rather than punishing them. Love, and especially trust, do a lot more for discipline than "spare the rod - spoil the child" garbage ever did. I will trust a child or teen even when they absolutely do NOT deserve it (although I obviously change boundaries around a bit when appropriate). Does all that make sense? I'm open to alternative approaches and freely admit my absence of in-home experience but I also really believe in these principles and want to try them in my "own home."