Todd McMullin (aka Teancum)

ALIVE!!

2009-07-03T23:17:00.007-06:00

This post is my first in many months and is dedicated to friends who inspire me in many ways to be ALIVE!

We all know that life itself is sacred by the level of meaning I seek goes beyond this fundamental truth. It delves into areas like friendship, love, family, community, and all the other 'ties that bind' us together as children of God. These 'ties' have always been something I sought more than all other gifts yet have found them to be elusive.

I WANT to feel. To grow, learn, and BE all that I can. As Thoreau put it the famous poem:

I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

I am going into the deep woods of new relationships because I want to LIVE deliberately. I want the depth and - along with my future spouse - I want to "suck all the marrow of life." So, if you enjoy yelling "YAWP" at a beautiful sunrise, splashing in puddles, watching Broadway productions and 4-wheeling in Southern Utah... I'm the guy you've been waiting for.

For me, LIFE is leading a group of boy scouts in a songfest, helping a teen find faith while gazing at a starfield, watching the sunrise from "Sunrise 'Point" at Bryce Canyon, sitting around campfire and speaking of God or sitting in the Celestial Room with someone I love. It almost always involves someone else but there have been a few precious moments on my own which I cherish beyond any of these for these were the times when, like the servant of Elisha, my "eyes were opened and [I] did see."

I know that only with freedom, purchased through the atonement and our faith in the same, that real LIFE is possible. It has glorious dimensions, and the quest to obtain more is what fires my soul to move forward. As Brother Joseph would say: "Shall we not go forward with so great a cause? Courage Brethren! And on, on to victory."

May the quest for true life - HIS life - inspire us all to take on whatever noble tasks are necessary to obtain "the greatest prize of all." I very much want to meet my future spouse, the greatest woman in the universe, and spend eternity creating life in the lives and hearts of others. It's what I dream of. It's what the company I founded (samaritan.com) was created for and it's what I dream of every night. To give... more.

-Todd Matthew McMullin (aka Teancum)

Here's to the Future...

2008-10-19T16:25:00.003-06:00

I'm a big believer in the future of humanity, the church, the company I co-own, our society as a whole and my own part in it. Our world has far too many cynics and pundits. I prefer action to talk and see many trends that are very exciting.

I had the blessing of being able to give the keynote address at the Oklahoma State Dept. of Human Services conference last month in Oklahoma City. In that presentation I shared a lot of the trends and changes that I see happening globally today, mostly surrounding youth volunteerism. You can read more about it by visiting my blog "New Generations in Volunteerism and Technology." The blog was created as a follow-up for the participants and is being emailed out to them next week because I just finished updating it finally.

As for my personal future I'm seeking "something truly wonderful." The mundane or typical simply will NOT do. I am a revolutionary at heart and seek to marry someone who isn't afraid of being an activist for her own causes (or mine) while also being a mother. Our world needs both, desperately. It's not beyond me to suggest summer vacations in Africa to serve the poor as a family. My daughter Shivonne has done fundraising for several charities there already and gets frustrated with folks who don't see how tragic the world's needs are.

The goal is to see the world for what it is but then dive in with the determination to CHANGE it. My company (see blog entry: "My Profession") is just the beginning and is only one catalyst. I know of many others that just require someone passionate to get behind them and fight for what is right. My favorite quote about the future is:

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Meade

So, I suppose this blog is an invitation to not only understand me but join me in working side-by-side for the future of our world.

Strengths and Weaknesses

2008-10-19T16:11:00.005-06:00

I have plenty of both and get frustrated with people who say otherwise about themselves. If you have something you consider a strength then say so! If you have a weakness then my thinking is "Dang, welcome to the human race, let's make it in to a strength!"

I'm seeking someone who isn't intimidated by either my strengths or weaknesses and just wants to help me grow. I'm really a pretty simple person and like it that way.

Strengths:

- Empathy, understanding and concern for people.
- Most technologies
- Leadership (but NOT management)
- Vision
- Determination
- Positive attitude
- Crisis management
- Real faith (not the wishy-washy crap)
- "Low maintenance" personally. I can do a LOT on practically nothing.

Weaknesses:

- You definitely don't want to be around me when I'm sick. It's not pretty. I can get real cranky if it's bad but usually prefer just to retreat to the bed and read a book. Fortunately, I rarely get sick. :)

- If I'm trying to understand something I tend to ask a ton of probing questions, rapid fire, and I've noticed this really bugs people sometimes. It's just me trying to comprehend something but I need to slow down, have patience, and remember I'm learning from a human being not a computer. They haven't invented the computer that goes fast enough for me.

- I'm not the best cook, snowboarder, or waterskier... though I do try. :) My outdoor preferences will always be hiking, biking and camping.

My Profession

2008-10-19T11:17:00.004-06:00

The 2nd greatest joy (after my daughter, Shivonne) is definately my work.

I graduated from BYU with what amounts to a business degree for the non-profit sector. I have always had an affinity for community services and while I was at BYU I had the chance to explore the struggles our communities were having from a clinical point of view and learn what makes them work (or more frequently NOT work). At it's simplest level the problem is that resources are not matching up with needs. There are plenty of both in today's world but only a very limited and sporadic ability to connect the two.

The solution is to develop new mechanisms, practices, laws, policies, programs, agencies, and tools to better connect both human and financial resources with needs. No easy trick! Government, faith based and private groups have been attempting to do that for decades but, unfortunately, have not been doing it TOGETHER. Each plays a different role and they require a catalyst before they're willing to collaborate.

Nothing works as a catalyst better than "banking" of new resources. These can literally be new sources of funds or, more importantly, human resources. By recruiting and coordinating an ever increasing pool of people better it forces agencies and government entities to change in order to access the talent they need. As communities, we need to harness and focus our citizens on the causes they care about and facilitate their natural desires to give of their own time and money. Technology, without question, is the ultimate way to do the necessary outreach, coordination, focusing and tracking needed to make all of this happen.

Samaritan Software LLC was formed by myself and another insane entrepreneur to achieve these ends. Incorporated in 1997, Samaritan has become the world's largest private provider of technology needed to recruit, coordinate, focus and track human resources (mostly volunteers). It's a small company (only 18 employees) but highly focused on the mission outlined above. Unlike non-profit or government entitires, Samaritan is an independent corporation that refuses to play ball with political agenda's or other efforts that so often stifle change. As such, we have been blessed to participate in real change occuring across all sectors... and we've only just begun. It took 10 painful years to develop the technology and market conditions needed for the company to thrive but we now have some of the biggest customers in the world including state governments and fortune 100 corporations.

My job there was self invented. I have the pleasure of being on the cutting edge of future changes in our society. I associate nationally with the 'movers and shakers' who have the vision to adjust the course of our world by harnessing human power and focusing it on real needs in a way that only increases the amount of giving over time. Many of these people are customers and partners I associate with almost daily. It's invigorating and exciting to be a part of. It also pays the bills nicely. :)

The downside (and there always is one, isn't there?) is that I travel a lot. It's been insane this year (over 75,000 air miles domestically) but it's settling down fast as we hire new people who are qualified to take on my work load. That's already underway.

For more information visit our web sites:

http://samaritan.com
http://k-12corps.com
http://disasterhelp.net

For more info on current trends I promote please visit my blog: "New Generations in Volunteerism and Technology."

Children

2008-10-19T10:57:00.002-06:00

I LOVE children.

I have a beautiful 14-year-old daughter named Shivonne. Raising her through her childhood years was the greatest pleasure I have ever known. She was a constant ray of sunshine in an often bleak life that I worked very hard to strengthen. Every day when I got home from work we would play and play. We had many games that I miss. Every night when she went to bed I both read and invented stories that thrilled her. We sang. We laughed. We did everything that father's and daughters are supposed to do.

Today she is a beautiful and well adjusted teenager. Straight-A student, singer, actor, pianist, and cultural acolyte. She has a strong testimony and it's one of those that isn't dependent on "thanktimony meetings" to be strong. She is the greatest joy of my life and spends alternate weekends with my attending cultural events and watching funny movies.

Would I like more children? You bet! And no, I don't care how I arrive at having those children. I'm equally fine with inheriting children through marriage as I am with adopting new ones or even starting a new family again. The goal is to have them, bless, teach and enjoy them. As I've never had the experience of living with teenagers and also have a lot of professional experience with youth relations and rehab I very much want to have a house full of 3-4 teens that are my own to "enjoy" and serve. No challenge scares me where youth are concerned.

Also, I tend to take the long view with children, especially youth. I understand their need to find themselves and discover - often the hard way - what life is all about. I strongly believe in what Joseph Smith taught about parenting: "Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." It is not the job of parents to control, direct, or force anything. It is our job to nurture, teach, guide, love and enable. I don't even have strong opinions about which rules are applied in a home as long as there ARE rules which ARE applied consistently by both parents. Oh, and there has to be lots of humor too.

Finally, I believe parents need to "let their hair down" and relate with their children consistently. I have no problem hanging out with acting like a 4 year old or a teenager if it helps them see how much I understand them and want to interact with them. I'm extremely casual most of the time, preferring to take a rebellious teen out for ice cream rather than punishing them. Love, and especially trust, do a lot more for discipline than "spare the rod - spoil the child" garbage ever did. I will trust a child or teen even when they absolutely do NOT deserve it (although I obviously change boundaries around a bit when appropriate). Does all that make sense? I'm open to alternative approaches and freely admit my absence of in-home experience but I also really believe in these principles and want to try them in my "own home."

First Marriage

2008-10-19T10:45:00.005-06:00

Simply put, I was blessed to know an incredible woman whom I will always respect and be friends with, but do not love in any romantic way.

We married because we were good friends who thought we had (or could become) more. We were wrong and it just took a long time (15 years) to realize it. We also had many personal challenges that confronted us. She suffered from a severely disabling illness for many years.

To be honest, I consider it a miracle that Heather and I both survived the past 15 years and have found peace - even joy - in life. Ok, we couldn't figure out how to do that together, but that doesn't make the result any less sweet.

I am very careful with deep relationships. Not because I've been hurt but because they are so very important. Heather I separated 8 years before we divorced because I wanted to make absolutely certain that she was ok emotionally and physically first; and also because I wanted to be 100% certain that I wasn't in love with her. I didn't want to move on and have the past hanging over me or, more importantly, the wife I hope to have someday.

I consider marriage to be the most sacred of unions and something that must be respected and revered at ALL costs. I have a proven track record of sacrificing whatever it takes to improve a relationship to the best of my ability. It's often not enough, but that isn't for a shortage of trying. I'll do anything for a friend and my new wife will definately be the best friend I have.

Favorite Activities

2008-10-19T10:27:00.002-06:00

This post should be fun. My fave activities fall in to the following categories:

1) Spiritual:
- Camping under the stars
- Attending the temple
- Positively impacting youth

2) Fun:
- Leading campfire songfests
- Casual acting games ("How to host a murder" etc.)
- Driving long distances.
- Exploring new places
- Hiking, biking, and other individual sports
- Cheering for "the other guy" in sports events.
- Volleyball (although I'm not that great at it)

3) Hobbies:
- Boy Scouting. I lead a National Youth Leadership Training course every year.
- Reading. Usually sci-fi or fantasy in an attempt to balance the stress in my work life.
- My work. Ironically, I absolutely LOVE my job even though it's stressful.

4) With Friends:
- Honest? Just sitting around and talking or watching movies.
- Attending cultural events (I'm a confessed Broadway snob, but enjoy all cultural events including counter-culture).
- Broom Hockey

5) For Social
- Any activity that requires people to explore their own personalities or literally 'be' a different personality.
- Word games
- Board games: My favorites are "Pit", chess, "Uno" (with the RIGHT rules), and a type of Rummi that my grandmother invented.

6) Other:
- Nothing I enjoy beats any opportunity to be of value in the life of a teenager. I live by the saying: "100 years for now it won't matter the size of your bank account or the recognitions man may have given you; but it will matter that you were important in the life of a child."

-

My Faith

2008-10-19T10:08:00.002-06:00

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Paul's description here (Hebrews 11:1) has always been my favorite. Too many people mix up definitions of hope, faith, and belief. It's a great discussion we can have some time and I really enjoy digging in to the scriptures on this topic because NOTHING is more important to me than "the first principle of the gospel." Without it, life (including family life) is useless and desolate. With faith, however, miracles happen.

How many times in my life was I forced (yep, it usually takes a big 2 x 4 board across my head before I see what's happening) to both find and utilize faith just to survive. It truly is a principle of action and so are all of it's applications. Having faith is so much more than belief (Alma 32). It's the moment when that belief transforms in to reality (substance). It's the moment when doubt disappears and you just KNOW that the mountain (of any kind) can be removed or that the ocean SHOULD turn in to land (1 Nephi 17:50). It's the moment you realize that if moving said mountain was correct that it would have already started occuring due to your faith. It's the moment during a Priesthood blessing that you can actually feel the healing happening right then, no matter which side of the experience you are on. It's the moment when doubt evaporates and leaves behind a perfect understanding of the situation, doctrine, person, or opportunity.

The people in my life fall in to three categories: Parent figures, siblings, and children. It is their understanding of faith which seems to most frequently define their relationship with me. My own parents do not have real faith so I seek to emulate those who do, like church leaders. My "siblings" include anyone I can learn to apply faith with more. This includes my friends and ultimately my wife-to-be. "Children" are those whom I am blessed to teach and demonstrate faith to regardless of how we meet or in what circumstances we interact. All of us are children of God who are each striving to know ourselves, and hopefully our Savior, better.

I have a LONG ways to go and definately need someone beside me who can help me to just remember myself. More importantly, however, I need someone whom I can serve. The biggest "hole" in my life right now is the absence of a woman that I can give everything that I am to. About the only real joy in my first marriage was the ongoing ability to serve someone I truly loved while she suffered through a long, debilitating illness. Our romance did not survive, obviously, but my character was forever changed by through the opportunities to give so much for so long. It was never enough, but that wasn't the point. It was, every time, "the substance of things hoped for" and I will never regret it.

My Personality: Spirituality

2008-10-19T09:53:00.002-06:00

Ok, this stuff I take VERY seriously.

Like most people I have had to face many difficult things in life. I never try to compare my trials to those of others so I won't elaborate on them here. They were what they were and I'm sure there are trials yet to come.

At a very early age I yearned to develop a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. It was very difficult for me to do because of emotional handicaps that prevented me from really connecting to much of anything, but this only made me more determined. I had some fantastic spiritual experiences as teen that usually occured in the outdoors while camping and as such I have a tremendous love for late nights, campfires and star fields. My spirituality developed in such places because it was there that I could relax and by most "myself".

This is not the forum for deep spiritual experiences to be shared but if you choose to know me better you'll find that I am a very open person who enjoys sharing with those whom I trust. To me, the experiences I've had are on a par with the many we read about in the scriptures. But it is not these experiences which, themselves, define or provide my faith. See "My Faith" for more information.

While my favorite spiritual environment is the outdoors, the temple runs a very close second and often overtakes my favorite. I have had the blessing of being involved with thousands of ordinances in the temple and I've loved every one of them. During the really hard years of my life the temple served as both an anchor and a place for healing. There, and only there, I can find absolute clarity without any danger of deception (including self deception). It's a place where I can commune and receive guidance for myself or those whom I love. I would be lost without it.

I have absolutely zero doubt about the life, sacrifices, mission and shear reality of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. I both worship and respect Him deeply. I yearn to be more like Him and try hard to emulate Him. He IS the ultimate example of everything I want to be, but, more importantly, He is also my friend. I can honestly refer to Him that way and it blows my mind to realize it. We've been through everything... together. He is my older brother as well as my father and, of course, my God. I am deeply grateful to know Him and want others to see Him as clearly as I have come to.

My Personality: Humor

2008-10-19T09:42:00.003-06:00

Dare you ask? LOL My personality is anything but 'typical' and I love it that way. I was raised in a home where humor was a constant even if faith was not. As a teen I never hung out with the 'popular' crowd, preferring the fringes. Like most teens I struggled with self image, purpose and etc. but took great comfort in a group of friends who were active in the church and, well, completely INSANE. :)

Examples:

1) Creating a multi high-school mystery murder group that played "How to Host a Murder" but also created our own and acted them out spontaneously during high-school classes. Definately a story worth telling. But there's more:

2) Mock Hi-jacking of airplanes.

3) Staging celebrity homecomings for mock celebrities at the airport.

4) Playing "Risk" on the tile map of the world at the airport.

5) Documentaries on the importance of fog gazing to our society.

6) Cruising State Street in beat up cars, wearing suits.

7) Playing croquet in traffic.

8) Reverse slumber parties.

I could go on and on. My years at East High School (Salt Lake City) were the most fun of my life and I the long term impact on my personality is apparent today. My favorite forms of humor are pretending to be something that you're not and/or doing totally embarrassing things.

Why Teancum?

2008-10-19T09:33:00.002-06:00

I don't consider myself as some Book of Mormon hero but Teancum is someone I definately relate with. His determination to do what is right regardless of the sacrifice required has always impressed me. While that tendency is hardly unique in the scriptures, Teancum had style. He was the ultimate pragmatist. If the best way to minimize bloodshed was to sneak in and kill the enemy king then obviously that's what had to be done. Problem solved. Let's move on. That's how I think most of the time. If given a problem of any kind I like to understand it, dive in deep, sacrifice anything to solve it, and then move on.

I also like Teancum's courage. Because of many tragic experiences in my own life I'm not afraid of going anywhere in someone else's life. I don't shy away from the deep or traumatic. Neither would our Savior. If someone is struggling with something I like to think I have the courage to step in and help them, no matter the cost. Both inside and outside of church callings I have had many opportunities to bless the lives of others while, of course, following all the guidelines of both church and legal policies so as to maximize the role each party plays in the recovery of a person who is struggling with sin, trauma, or any other kind of issue.

Is this not what our Savior asks and expects of us? To help Him "bear one another's burden's that they might be light?" I have a LONG ways to go in my journey to develop more charity but Teancum (and others) set a high standard I'm determined to reach.

Todd (that's me!) 101

2008-10-09T01:10:00.004-06:00

Thank-you for visiting my blog. If you're here I can only hope it's because you're the curious sort who dares to connect with a complete stranger. Awesome! Dunno about you, but meeting new people is a bit like an adventure for me and I look forward to interacting with you.

You're welcome to browse whatever entries you like. I try to be completely honest about my strengths, weaknesses, aspirations and beliefs.

First thing you've got to know about me is that I have NOT lead the typical Mormon life even though I've always been active, obedient and temple worthy. In fact, I tend to look at the "Provo" type of Mormon's (sheltered, naive, hesitant to empathize) as a bit on the shallow side because of everything I've seen and experienced.

My story is not for the faint of heart! But, if you choose to continue I can promise that it is full of faith promoting and powerful experiences that I gladly share because they are blessings that all can benefit from, hopefully even more than I have (I confess to being a bit of a slow learner on important subjects). :)

Feel free to respond to the blogs. All responses are private, not public. You can also just email using the address provided.

Enjoy the adventure!

-Todd